They come in all sizes & ages

Recently, I met a woman in her late 40's while waiting for the MAX.  We instantly made a connection as she shared about an incident she had at school.  We had many things in common. We were similar ages, both going back to school to change careers, & recently moved to Portland from a rural area.

I want to share her story because it is an example to me that shows that it doesn't matter what age & sized you are, you can experience things that can give you that "Uh Oh" feeling.  The "uh oh" feeling I refer to is that internal warning you get when somethings seems off or wrong.  Some people call it your internal guide, your intuition....It sometimes causes us to doubt ourselves or make us go quiet.  I recommend listening to your "uh oh" feeling & sharing your story with someone you trust.

Well, here is her story.  She shared that she was really weak in math skills and had homework from her math class.  The instructions were to solve the problems & put the problems & answers on index cards for future reference.  Diligently, she did the homework and felt unsure of her work.  She arrived early to class so that she could ask the instructor to review her work, before she transferred her work to index cards.

Approaching the instructor, she asked her if she had a few extra minutes before class to review her work to see if she was doing it correctly, then she was going to transfer her work to index cards. The instructor looked at her and said yes, then immediately she grabbed her paper and snapped, "you need to have your work on index cards!"  Then glanced down at her work for a split second and looked back at her and said yes, your work is correct, now go put this on index cards.

This middle aged woman I just met, told me she felt stunned & like a 6 year old child in grade school.  She walked away from that instructor saying under her breath, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch!  I like her story because it showed me that bullies can show up and come into out lives at any age.  In my opinion, the instructor was very unprofessional, demeaning & shaming to her.  When she was saying to herself "ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch", she was acknowledging something painful had just happened to her & this was a way she was hitting her reset button.  I also liked the fact that she was willing to share her story with me & I could encourage her. 

Many times, when we receive a demeaning shameful attack, we can get stuck and feel badly about ourselves.  This woman did not.  I liked the fact that she could tell the difference between she was bad verses this was a bad experience.

I'd like to hear some of the strategies you use when you have the "uh oh" feeling triggered & how you re-center yourself.  Please e-mail them to me.